Nicole, spreading HOPE for Alex
Ambassador Nicole Morton, fundraising in memory of Alex Morton
“December 4th 2020
The day our world changed forever.
I'll never forget those words "we have noticed something on the scan".
When I found out I was pregnant I went into planning mode. After having Harper early and my complications post birth I wasn’t leaving anything up to fate. I applied to Monash so that I would be in a high risk group, the midwife said on our first Telehealth appointment that I was the most organized mum to be she had ever dealt with.
I had extra scans and appointments to make sure this one wasn't coming early. By week 18 I had been seen or spoken to almost every second week since 6 weeks. Everything was going to plan, until it wasn't.
I showed up to my 20 week scan feeling like a pro. I had been in the ultrasound room fortnightly since 14 weeks. I felt so lucky that I got to see my baby boy so often. Even though they were quick scans I had no inkling that this one would be anything other than a nice look at how my baby boy was growing. I had a junior ultrasound tech (not unusual) and had previously had them get a senior tech during the scan when bubs wasn't participating so didn't really think much of it when she wanted some help. Ultrasound techs are really good at not giving too much away whilst scanning so when the senior tech placed his hand on my leg and said that he noticed some things and was going to refer to the fetal diagnostic unit I was confused. What do you mean you've noticed something? Huh, I was here two weeks ago?
Blood tests were ordered, referrals sent through. I called Christopher to let him know what was going on but I didn't know what was going on myself.
The next 8 weeks were some of the toughest our family has been through. Scans, tests MRI'S, appointments. All culminating in the birth of our beautiful sleeping boy Alex on the 19 January 2021.
I didn't really understand the impact grief can have on a person. I still cry most days. I feel a heaviness and fog. I know I'm lucky to have Harper but that doesn't make the pain any less. I feel bad when I'm enjoying things, I feel bad when I'm not. I feel sad.
I hope that one day things will be eaiser. I know that you will never be forgotten Alex, but forever in the stars ✨”
If you would like to make a contribution to Nicole’s fundraiser in honor of Alex, here are the programs and initiatives your money goes towards:
Sponsorship for virtual support groups and in-person retreats
Outreach and education for healthcare providers
Peer and community support
Empowering resources for bereaved families and their loved ones
Learn more about RTZ HOPEtober and how you can help us spread hope and shine a light on pregnancy and infant loss, helping others to live a life full of hope, connection, and meaning.