Natalie, spreading HOPE for Vincent
Ambassador Natalie Valenzuela, fundraising in memory of Vincent
“My story of turning grief to grace starts when I was expecting Vincent in 2011. Our journey began at 19 weeks when we were going in for our ultrasound appointment to check on his development and gender reveal. Unfortunately, our ultrasound appointment led us a rabbit hole of weekly appointments and a decision that no mother should have to make. I was told that Vincent had low amniotic fluid, only one kidney and the possibility that the other kidney was not working which could affect his lung development and much more. August left us with more worries and uncertainty but then a choice had to be made, whether to carry to term or terminate. I choose to carry to term and let God take him on his time and to cherish every day I had with him. I made my unborn son a promise, to have him known, loved and celebrated. I continue to do that all these 11 years later. My son kept thriving even though our prognosis was so low. I was told that the back of his head wasn’t developed, that he wouldn’t grow or move because the lack of fluid, that he will have underdeveloped lungs, that he would be born with club feet and club hands. Even with all that was shared, my son showed them differently, he moved and somersaulted, practiced his breathing and kept growing. I will never forget the words my doctor said, “you clearly are not reading the books little one.” Every week we got checked on and everyday I thanked god he was with me. As we approached 37 weeks, my doctors and medical team set a plan to schedule and induction and have all the experts ready to tend to him when he was delivered. Then came our last doctor visit, December 8th, everything looked status quo. We were ready for the induction on December 12th. Kaiser LA wear ready for us and we had hope. But the night of the 8th as I prepared for his upcoming delivery, he was turning and moving was very Intensely and uncomfortable that I went to bed. At 3:30 am, on December 9, 2011, I woke with the feeling that I would throw up and go to the restroom. Nothing happened as I sat in the bathroom but all of sudden I felt dizziness and uneasiness in where my sight was gone but all I saw was bright light. I will never forget that feeling nor will I ever forget that light. To this day, I still feel my little boy revealed himself as an Angel that day. A few moments later, I got my eyesight back, and the dizziness stopped in where I knew that I had to go to the hospital. We rushed to the hospital but as we drove there, my sons movements weren’t as strong as before. I feared the worst but when we arrived and got connected to the monitors, I was grateful to hear his heartbeat beating with me. Unfortunately, I did not know that he was already in distress and when the doctor came he told me my son was dying at that moment. He didn’t want to do to the induction because it would take to long and he didn’t want to do a c-section because it was too risky for me. I kept insisting and asking him to do the c-section so they try to save my son. All I wanted to do is hold him and the doctor kept saying no and that my body will go into natural birth. Well, he gave up and gave in and prepped me for surgery. By the time he took Vincent out, my little boys heart stopped. They tried working on him but he never came through. When they took him out, I heard no sound, no cry. Just the words “baby’s is out”, and “we have a lot of blood”. You see, my placenta had shredded and I was bleeding internally. I suffered three blood transfusion the following day. My little boy saved my life and I only wished we were able to save him. But I will forever remember my pregnancy with them and how perfect he looked when he was born. Like a little cherub with lots of hair, perfect hands, perfect feet and weighing 8lbs 1 Oz. My sweet Vincent will forever be my Angel and I will continue to keep my promise I made to him - to have him known, loved and celebrated.”
If you would like to make a contribution to Natalie’s fundraiser in honor of Vincent, here are the programs and initiatives your money goes towards:
Sponsorship for virtual support groups and in-person retreats
Outreach and education for healthcare providers
Peer and community support
Empowering resources for bereaved families and their loved ones
Learn more about RTZ HOPEtober and how you can help us spread hope and shine a light on pregnancy and infant loss, helping others to live a life full of hope, connection, and meaning.