What Can Be Helpful After TFMR
After ending a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons (TFMR), you may find yourself navigating grief, physical recovery, and the many emotions that can accompany this experience. What feels helpful may change from day to day, and there is no single way to move through this time.
The suggestions below offer ways to care for yourself, seek support, and honor your baby, if and when these feel meaningful to you. You do not need to do everything, or anything, on this list. Take what feels helpful and leave the rest.
In the Days and Weeks Ahead
There is no right or wrong way to honor your baby. Consider what feels meaningful and supportive for you and your family.
Create memories and keepsakes by naming your baby, saying their name, requesting handprints or footprints, a heartbeat recording, photographs (if available), or saving meaningful items such as ultrasound images, clothing, or other mementos. Even if you are unsure whether you want these keepsakes now, you may choose to have them created or saved in case you would like them in the future. You do not have to look at or engage with them until, or unless, it feels right for you.
Honor your baby in a meaningful way through personal rituals, cultural or spiritual practices, a memorial service, cremation, burial, or another form of remembrance that feels right for you.
Care for yourself physically by prioritizing rest, hydration, nourishment, and gentle movement as you recover.
Accept support from others by asking family and friends for help with meals, childcare, household tasks, errands, or other daily needs.
In the Months Ahead
Grief does not have a timeline. As you move forward, you may find comfort in some of the following:
Stay connected to support by sharing your baby's story with trusted family and friends, joining a pregnancy loss support group, or seeking support from a bereavement professional.
Care for yourself physically by prioritizing rest, hydration, nourishment, and gentle movement as you recover. Your body may need time to heal, and you may experience bleeding, cramping, breast changes, or other physical symptoms. Follow the recovery guidance provided by your healthcare team, and reach out if you have questions or concerns about your symptoms.
Find meaningful ways to honor and remember your baby through journaling, creating a memorial space, speaking your baby's name, displaying keepsakes, writing letters, observing important dates, or continuing traditions that help you feel connected to them. Some families also find meaning in making a donation or supporting a cause in their baby's memory.
Prepare for significant dates, such as your due date, anniversaries, or holidays, which may bring up strong emotions. Consider making a plan for how you would like to spend those days and who you would like to have around you.
