Suggestions for Supporting Your Loved One
When someone you care about experiences pregnancy or infant loss, you may want to help but feel unsure about what they need.
You cannot take away their grief, but your presence, acknowledgment, and continued support can make a meaningful difference.
Acknowledge Their Baby and Their Grief
Remember, ask about, and care for the father/partner, as they are also grieving.
Acknowledge them as parents, even if they do not have a living child. Remember that days such as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day may carry particular significance.
If appropriate, invite them to tell you about their baby. You might ask their baby’s name, what they remember about them, or if they would like to share their story.
If they named their baby, use their baby’s name.
If appropriate, ask if they would like to share a photograph of their baby.
Be present. Listen without trying to fix their grief, and be willing to simply sit with them.
Offer Practical Support
Grief can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Rather than saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” consider offering something specific.
Arrange for meal delivery, meal or grocery gift cards, especially in the weeks following the baby's death.
If they have living children, offer to take the children for an outing or help with childcare so the parents have time alone or together.
Offer to run errands, pick up groceries, do laundry, walk the dog, or help with other everyday tasks.
Ask what would feel helpful—but don't be afraid to make a specific offer.
Continue checking in. A simple text letting them know you're thinking about them does not require a response.
Remember That Grief Has No Timeline
Support is often abundant immediately after a death and becomes quieter as time passes. For bereaved parents, however, their grief continues.
Birthdays, holidays, due dates, anniversaries, Mother's and Father's Days, and other milestones can be especially difficult.
Remember important dates and reach out to let them know you are thinking of them and their baby.
Consider acknowledging these days with a card, small gift, candle, flowers, or contribution to a meaningful charity.
Be open and accepting of however they choose to spend holidays and significant days, including choosing not to participate.
Keep showing up. Months and years later, a “thinking of you” message or thoughtful gesture can remind parents that their baby has not been forgotten.
Don't be offended if they don't respond. Your care still matters.
Show Them You’re Thinking of Them
Small gestures can remind someone that they and their baby are remembered. Explore thoughtful ways to acknowledge their loss and show your care.