We are deeply sorry for your loss.
Please know there is no one right way to navigate this experience, and there is little anyone can do to prepare for such heartbreak.
This guide was developed with input from bereaved parents and offers practical suggestions for spending time with your baby, creating memories, and preparing to leave the hospital.
If you have the opportunity, you may wish to hold your baby, take photographs, or create keepsakes. Some parents find these experiences meaningful, while others may feel unsure or prefer not to participate.
There is no right or wrong way to approach this time. Your choices may be shaped by your circumstances, beliefs, and what feels possible in the moment. Whatever you decide, your love for your baby is not measured by the memories you create.
Printed and PDF perinatal bereavement cards in English and Spanish are also available to order here.
ⓘ This information is available in the following languages: French (Français), German (Deutsch), Portuguese (Português), Spanish (Español), Turkish (Türk), and Russian (русский)
If your baby has died in utero:
Slow down, there is no rush (Unless medically necessary).
Ask a family member or close friend to make calls to notify others that your baby has passed away.
Request a room at the end of Labor & Delivery or on another floor to ensure a quiet space.
Ask the nurses to describe what your baby will look like after they are born.
You may also decide to use a bereavement doula to support you during the birth process.
If your baby was born alive, but is not expected to live:
In addition to the previous suggestions, the following may be helpful.
What are the final wishes you have for your baby? Would you like to take your baby outside in the sunshine, moonlight, or garden?
Ask the nurses to describe what you may see or hear during your baby’s dying process.
Request a private and peaceful space.
You may hold your baby as they pass.
Ways You May Choose to Spend Time With Your Baby
Naming your baby
Having skin-to-skin contact with your baby
Rocking, holding, kissing, and cuddling your baby
Bathing your baby
Putting a diaper and clothes on your baby
Singing, playing music, or reading a book to your baby
Asking hospital staff for a lock of hair from your baby
Making hand and foot prints.
Taking photographs. You may wish to take photographs of your baby, including their hands, feet, and other details you want to remember. If you're unsure whether you want photographs, you can ask your care team to take them and keep them for you to decide about later. You may also ask whether professional remembrance photography is available. We recommend www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org or a local volunteer bereavement photographer through your hospital.
Requesting a religious service or ceremony in the hospital (i.e. baptism), if applicable.
Asking your care provider for a comfort cot or ice packs so you can prolong your time with your precious child.
Ask about bringing your baby home. Depending on your circumstances and local laws, you may have the option to bring your baby home before burial or cremation. If this is something you would like to consider, ask your hospital care team or a funeral professional about the options available, any necessary arrangements, and how to care for your baby's body safely.
After you leave the hospital, we recommend you consider:
Asking for someone to arrange meal delivery for when you get home.
Contacting a lactation consultant to help you decide whether you would like to suppress or donate your breast milk.
Creating an online memorial via Caring Bridge, Facebook to share your loss journey and create community.
Planning a memorial service.
Sending out Born Still announcements.
Checking if your state offers a Certified Copy of Still Birth or Fetal Death Record.
Seeking a perinatal bereavement mental health provider or support group in person and/or online.