Anita, Spreading HOPE for Lucia-Francisco
Anita Bubany, SHARING HER STORY IN MEMORY of Lucia-Francisco
“Our baby, Lucia-Francisco, is often the forgotten one. The name that gets mentioned last or not even mentioned at all.
Just eight months after our identical twin daughters Mary Rose and Elizabeth Leia died, I was pregnant again. A pregnancy after loss comes with a range of emotions and this was no exception. But this pregnancy didn't even make it through the first trimester. I found myself devastated all over again, in disbelief that this was happening, and heartbroken that I had my hopes up even for a brief time that I'd be bringing another baby home earthside. I had to explain to my three living children that another sibling of theirs wasn't coming home. They were there with us at the funeral home, at the funeral, and at the columbarium in the cemetery.
What was different about this loss is I was already plugged into the RTZ: HOPE community. I was held. I was supported. I was in a Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group and I could turn to that group to share our unexpecting news. My grief was acknowledged, my heart was held, and I felt carried.
I knew then and am now even more convinced that every loss, no matter the length of pregnancy or length of life earthside, deserves to be acknowledged and grieved. I have often heard the words “I was ONLY __ weeks along,” but all losses - no matter the length - are worthy of grieving. My baby was carried with love and is continually loved. I strive to change my language, in hopes that others too acknowledge the depth of love I had for this precious little son or daughter of mine.
Lucia-Francisco is counted by their siblings in the sibling count. Every May we remember that pregnancy and honor our baby. We wonder what life would have been like if they stayed longer. We find ourselves finding ways to connect with the other side in an attempt to feel their presence. By paying closer attention to the wind, the sky, the butterflies, and beauty that surrounds us, we pause to reflect and appreciate our relationship with our babies. We visit the cemetery and honor the sacred space where our babies were laid to rest.
By sharing my story of my first trimester miscarriage, I hope it gives others the courage to speak confidently about their miscarriage or loss - no matter the gestation. I want to be a beacon of hope and light the path for others to share their stories.
Would you consider donating, in honor of Lucia-Francisco, to RTZ: HOPE for HOPETOBER, for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month?”
October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month.
Our HOPEtober annual event honors all losses on the journey to parenthood.
Even though so many of us have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, or know someone who has, it is a loss that exists in the shadows. As bereaved parents, we feel isolated and alone. But together, we can shine a light on pregnancy and infant loss, helping others to live a life that holds both grief and joy.
HOPEtober Luminaries partner with us during the month of October to be an advocate and ambassador in spreading awareness and shining a light on pregnancy and infant loss. By sharing our stories we’re bringing awareness to pregnancy and infant loss, as well as the resources and support that exist through Return to Zero: Hope. As a nonprofit, raising awareness and funds are essential to our cause and support programs.
We'd be grateful if you you would consider making a contribution to Anita's fundraiser in honor of Lucia-Francisco. Your gift ensures that other parents who endure loss on their journey to parenthood have the support, resources, and community they need in order to navigate life after loss.
This year our goal is to raise $75,000 during the month of October so that we can continue spread hope and healing by providing resources and support to grieving families and their care providers.
Thank you for helping to shatter the silence around pregnancy & infant loss.