Shianne, Spreading HOPE Torvi & Sweet Pea
Ambassador Shianne Gundersen, fundraising in memory of Torvi & Sweet Pea
“In April 2019, we were expecting our first born, a little girl. Due to unknown reasons, her heart stopped during labor and Torvi Ann was born on April 8 not breathing. The hospital staff immediately went into life-saving efforts and were able to resuscitate her after an extended period of time. She suffered severe brain damage and was transferred to the UC Davis Children's Hospital NICU unit. After three days of extensive testing and heartbreaking results, we made the decision to remove her from life support. She passed peacefully while we held her on April 11.
We are so grateful for the three days we spent with her, holding her when we could and spending time with her crib side when we couldn't. The NICU staff and support services treated us with such wonderful care and I will forever be grateful for that.
Since Torvi's death, our family has welcomed two baby boys: Grady in 2020 and Graham in 2022. Parenting living children after a loss comes with many hardships, but I believe it has also given me a greater sense of awe and appreciation for life that I didn't understand or grasp before our loss. We have incorporated her into our daily lives and special holidays throughout the years in different ways. It's been bittersweet as her younger brother now sees her photo and asks about her. I love having this opportunity to help him know her better but it breaks my heart at the same time.
Knowing loss, we have always known a miscarriage was a very real possibility as we grow our family. We recently had an unexpected pregnancy that ended in a very early miscarriage. During the short time I was pregnant though, my heart grew again and made room for this littlest love. My due date would have been April 11 - it was one of those things that make you wonder about the curiosity of the universe and timing - anticipating a new baby on the anniversary of the death of another.
Four years out from my first loss and a few months since my second, I can honestly say that I am at a place in my life where I experience genuine joy and appreciation for the moments life has to offer. I know that I wouldn't be where I am today had Torvi's loss not set me on this trajectory, and that's often a hard thing to think about. I quit my marketing job after my loss and saw that Return to Zero had an opening for a marketing position a few months later. I've always been passionate about helping others and knew this was a way I could give back to the loss community. I am grateful to be a part of the RTZ Team and contribute to Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness, as well as sharing hope as an ambassador during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
Attending a RTZ retreat was one of the major contributing factors in helping shift my relationship with my daughter from one of grief, anger, and sadness to one of love and thankfulness. Had I not connected with others and worked on healing myself and my relationship with my daughter, I imagine I would be in a very lonely, unhealthy place right now. It was also my first real introduction to holistic health and well-being, and again, a path I'm grateful that I've found.
Without the education and resources I've learned over the years from Return to Zero, I think that my recent miscarriage could have had a very different outcome on my personal well-being. The medical services I received provided zero emotional support, but Return to Zero has and will continue to give me that support and guidance. The RTZ website is always the first place I send someone whether they've had their own loss or are looking to help someone else. It's an instrumental and absolutely necessary resource for the pregnancy and infant loss community.”
Pregnancy and infant loss is an unique type of loss, leaving the grievers to feel isolated and unsure of how to move forward. We'd be grateful if you you would consider making a contribution to Shianne’s fundraiser in honor of Torvi & Sweet Pea. Your gift ensures that other parents who endure loss on their journey to parenthood have the support, resources, and community they need in order to navigate life after loss.
With your support, here’s what we were able to accomplish during 2022 (2022 Annual Report):
Fifty percent of support group participants received financial support to ensure that all parents have access to services.
Enhanced outreach to and created support services for Black, Indigenous, and other Communities of Color as a response to the alarming rate of preterm births and stillbirths caused by racial disparities in perinatal and infant health.
Offered 50 different support group programs (virtual workshops, virtual support groups, and in-person retreats) to our community of bereaved families.
Supplied our unique perinatal bereavement guides to 400 hospitals and providers to assist in caring for grieving families.
Hosted 10 perinatal bereavement education webinars to parents and providers.
Created community and spread awareness about pregnancy and infant loss through social media.