Justin, Spreading HOPE for Jacob Thomas
Ambassador Justin Van Wyen, fundraising in memory of Jacob
“Jacob is loved beyond measure. His mother Jessica and I went on a six year infertility journey, featuring multiple IVF cycles that culminated in his conception. At a 24-week ultrasound, it was found that his brain was not developing correctly, which would have resulted in a life of pain and suffering. The decision we made to interrupt the pregnancy was the most difficult decision we have made in our marriage, but it is one centered in our love for Jacob. We chose the pain of grief and loss, so that Jacob could find peace without pain and discomfort.
We had to travel to Washington DC to terminate the pregnancy. After the procedure, once Jacob's body was earthside, we spent about 90 minutes with him. We sang to him, told him we loved him, cried for him, and told him about all of his family.
In that moment, I found peace in recognizing Jacob. He had my face, and . I recognized that my dream of becoming a father had come true, and most beautifully, I got to see my wife become a mother as she rocked and danced with him. When it was time to say goodbye, the doctors gave us an envelope with his hand and footprints. We waited until dinner with our family and friends that evening to open the envelope. I was blown away when Jacob had a crooked pinky on his left hand, a genetic trait that has been passed down along four generations of men in my family. It was Jacob's way of remind us that he is ours, and we are forever family.
I've tried to center my life in the past two years around honoring Jacob. I firmly believe he is with me at all times, and I rely on his presence to provide me purpose and motivation to live a life he would be proud.
I have a tattoo on my left forearm of a rising sun shining over a crashing wave, a symbol of my experience as Jacob's father, and the presence he has in my life, and my desire to overcome challenges.
RTZ Hope has been an outstanding resource to better understand grief, and the ways it may show itself in our lives. It has also provided us with a community of people that we cherish, who understand the pain behind our decision, and the struggle to process complex emotions. We have fostered relationships with amazing people that we will always have a connection with. As a co-facilitator with Jessica of two couples loss groups, being able to share experiences with other couples and bond over shared experience, while providing support for one another, has helped me find purpose in our experience.”
Pregnancy and infant loss is an unique type of loss, leaving the grievers to feel isolated and unsure of how to move forward. We'd be grateful if you you would consider making a contribution to Justin’s fundraiser in honor of Jacob Thomas. Your gift ensures that other parents who endure loss on their journey to parenthood have the support, resources, and community they need in order to navigate life after loss.
With your support, here’s what we were able to accomplish during 2022 (2022 Annual Report):
Fifty percent of support group participants received financial support to ensure that all parents have access to services.
Enhanced outreach to and created support services for Black, Indigenous, and other Communities of Color as a response to the alarming rate of preterm births and stillbirths caused by racial disparities in perinatal and infant health.
Offered 50 different support group programs (virtual workshops, virtual support groups, and in-person retreats) to our community of bereaved families.
Supplied our unique perinatal bereavement guides to 400 hospitals and providers to assist in caring for grieving families.
Hosted 10 perinatal bereavement education webinars to parents and providers.
Created community and spread awareness about pregnancy and infant loss through social media.