Amalia, Making a Difference in Honor of Cherry Bean
We lost our daughter Cherry Bean in the second trimester through a Termination For Medical Reasons. It was the saddest day of my life, but I knew in my heart then and now that it was the only choice. She taught me selfless love, a wail that I didn't know existed for mothers after immediately losing their child, and a strength afterwards that I didn't know I had in myself. Suddenly, trivial conversations felt banal. I no longer had space or time for people that couldn't support me in the way that I needed. I learned that self-care is of the utmost importance. The grief that I've experienced taught me how to better support others in grief.
Our nickname for her, Cherry Bean, gave us something tangible to remember her by. Cherry picking, cherry soda, and cherry jewelry make me smile.
I'm so grateful for the change that my daughter effected in me, and I can already see how she's made the world a better place.
RTZ Hope allowed me to heal to a place I would never be without their resources and support. I needed more than therapy and virtual drop-in support groups. I felt isolated from my social circle and at work, where I kept the pregnancy and loss a secret, and could no longer function day-to-day. Six weeks after my loss, I finally caved and took two weeks of bereavement leave, but it didn’t suffice. The solitude and grief were unbearable.
Luckily RTZ Hope was holding an in-person retreat just a few hours from home one month later. The 4 days and 3 nights of intensive workshops and community truly changed my mindset. It gave me tools I could use to better process the loss of my daughter, rituals, and physical reminders to keep her close, so that I could begin to turn the pain into acceptance and beauty. Most importantly, I joined a supportive and empathetic community of women that knew what I was going through, no matter how our losses differed.
Beyond the retreat, I discovered articles on their blog that I could share with my friends and family to help them understand what I was going through, eloquently stating what I did not have the capacity to formulate in words. I joined a support group specific to TFMR, which gave me solidarity and a commitment to our right of choice, particularly since Roe vs Wade had just been overturned. I even participated in a holiday workshop to make art that brought me closer to my baby. The difference with RTZ’s approach is that they feel more personal, relatable, non-judgmental, and supportive regardless of (and recognizing) differences in religion, race, and ability. Everything is offered with such thought and care for every person’s unique circumstances. There is never a shortage of ways that RTZ hasn't figured out how to help us in the loss community, whether the birthing parent or partner. I consider the women I've met through the RTZ Hope community some of my closest and dearest friends today and would encourage any person dealing with loss to find community to accelerate the healing process.
Amalia Murray, RTZ HOPE Support Program Alumni was selected as a winner for Salesforce’s Volunteering Impact Awards resulting in a $20,000 donation from Salesforce for Return to Zero: Hope
The act of volunteering helped me heal from my own trauma by reshaping the need to bare my story as something that serves others–as well as RTZ HOPE’s mission–with people who might be too afraid to reach out for help. By sharing my experience, others opened up to me about their losses–strangers that I’ve only met on Slack and colleagues I’ve worked with for years. One volunteer effort I organized was a hybrid virtual and in-person event for employees focused on how to best support friends, family, and colleagues in grief. I secured support from Salesforce Women's Network and Salesforce Parents and Families. I am so grateful for everybody that showed up, more than I imagined. I didn't think there would be a community for people like me at Salesforce because it's often so living kid-centric. I now feel more like my authentic self at work.
I am so grateful to know that my volunteering will pave the way for others to learn about the organization and find their own healing.
Return to Zero: Hope is so incredibly grateful not only to Amalia for her volunteer work and advocacy in her workplace, but the grant we were awarded on behalf of her volunteer award will help us support so many other bereaved parents like Amalia.
HOW TO HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN CHERRY BEAN’S HONOR
Pregnancy and infant loss is a unique type of loss, leaving the grievers to feel isolated and unsure of how to move forward. We'd be grateful if you would consider making a contribution to RTZ HOPE. Your gift ensures that other parents who endure loss on their journey to parenthood have the support, resources, and community they need in order to navigate life after loss.
With your support in 2023 (Annual Report) RTZ HOPE continued to fulfill our mission of serving over 250,000 bereaved parents and the healthcare providers who support them through a variety of free and reduced fee programs and offerings.
HOW WE EMPOWER PROVIDERS:
Educated With Website Guides and Resources
Informed through Free Webinar Series
Hosted Free Drop-in Consultation Groups
Led Educational Trainings, Presentations, and Seminars
Provided Free Brochures and Materials
HOW WE ENGAGE PARENTS:
Connection through Social Media
Education Through Webinars
Email Newsletter
Extensive YouTube Channel
Healing In-Person Retreats
Informative Website Guides
Inspiration from our Stories of HOPE Blog
Meaningful Workshops
Transformative Virtual Support Groups