Why memory making matters

Most parents facing loss are in shock and uncertain of what to do. This is the only time they have with their child, and your gentle guidance can help them create memories that ease regret and support healing.

By normalizing their fear and offering simple, compassionate options for remembrance, you help families stay connected to their baby’s life and story. Memory making isn’t about perfect mementos — it’s about presence, love, and creating tangible moments of connection that can bring comfort long after this time has passed.

 

Guiding Principles for Compassionate Care

These principles serve as a foundation for compassionate, family-centered bereavement care, guiding providers to honor each baby’s life and support every family with dignity and understanding.

 

  1. Telling the Child’s Story
    Invite families to share memories, names, and details that celebrate their baby’s life, honoring the love and connection that will always remain.

  2. Cultural and Spiritual Sensitivity
    Honor each family’s beliefs, traditions, and rituals, creating space for practices that bring comfort, meaning, and healing.

 
 

Memory-Making & Legacy-Building Ideas

Below are recommended best practices, followed by additional ideas that can be adapted to each family’s wishes and cultural or spiritual needs.

Recommended Best Practices

These are core memory-making actions that should be available in every bereavement care setting.

  • Photography: Offer professional or volunteer bereavement photography whenever possible (e.g., Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, local photographer)

  • Hand/Foot Prints or Molds: Provide inkless print kits and clay molds for safe, lasting impressions

  • Locks of Hair: Collect and label a small lock of hair as a keepsake

  • Clothing & Blankets: Encourage families to select a special outfit or blanket for their baby

  • Memory Box: Gather keepsakes—such as bracelets, photos, and name cards—into a memory box or envelope for the family

  • Naming & Story Sharing: Use the baby’s name, and invite families to share moments, stories, or meanings behind it

  • Comfort Items: Provide soft blankets, tissues, and private space for memory-making rituals

  • Documentation: Include a brief written note from the care team or a Recognition of Life Certificate recognizing the baby’s life

Additional Ideas & Legacy-Building Activities

These can be offered as creative options, honoring each family’s traditions, culture, and connection.

  • Favorite Book or Faith Text: Add a handprint or note inside a children’s book or book of faith

  • Matching Hearts: Give one fabric, ceramic, or wooden heart to the parents and place the other with the baby

  • EKG Heart Strip: Fold the baby’s heart rhythm into a heart or place it in a small bottle or envelope

  • Heartbeat Recording: Make an audio recording of the baby’s heartbeat

  • Symbolic Items: Include charms, beads, or tokens meaningful to the family’s beliefs or story

  • Wreaths or Potpourri: Dry flowers from the hospital room or ceremony and create a keepsake

  • Art or Craft Activities: Offer watercolor paper, fingerprint art, or clay for hand impressions

  • Legacy Jewelry: Recommend fingerprint or handprint charms

  • Community Donations: Connect families with programs such as Angel Gown Program, Still Remembered, or Project Linus for comfort items made by volunteers

Bereavement Services & Institutional Support

There is currently no standardization of perinatal bereavement care in the United States — highlighting the urgent need for consistent education, institutional support, and advocacy across healthcare settings.

Building a coordinated approach ensures that families receive compassionate, equitable care regardless of where or when their loss occurs. Use the questions below to assess existing services and identify opportunities for growth within your organization.

  • What perinatal bereavement resources and programs are currently offered at your institution?

  • Are services accessible across all departments (L&D, NICU, ED, etc.)?

  • If you offer support groups, are they specific to child loss, or do they serve mixed grief populations?

  • Are groups facilitated by trained clinicians, volunteers, or peer mentors?

  • How are staff educated and supported in providing perinatal bereavement care?

  • Does your institution partner with community organizations or nonprofits for extended support?

Resource & Supply Guide

Building a Bereavement Cart or Kit

Creating a dedicated bereavement cart or supply kit ensures staff have immediate access to the essential items needed to support families with care, comfort, and memory-making resources. Having these materials organized and ready helps providers respond calmly and compassionately during difficult moments.

Memory-Making Supplies

  • Inkless hand/footprint kits

  • Clay or plaster hand/foot mold sets

  • Memory boxes or envelopes for keepsakes

  • Lock-of-hair envelopes or small vials

  • Small bottles or jars for symbols or dried flowers

  • Photo frames and small easels

  • Acid-free paper or pens for notes and quotes

Comfort Items for Families

  • Soft blankets and swaddles

  • Tissues and comfort wipes

  • Battery-operated candles or small votives

  • Aromatherapy oils or sachets (lavender, chamomile)

  • Water bottles and light snacks

  • Music device or speaker with gentle playlists

Supportive Tools for Staff

  • Bereavement care checklist for quick reference

  • Step-by-step memory-making guide

  • Parent brochures

  • Extra consent forms and photo release forms

  • Cleaning and restocking checklist

Optional Additions

  • Books or poems for families

  • Faith or cultural items

  • Pre-printed sympathy cards for staff to sign