Sarah, Spreading HOPE for Jesse Leon Hill
Ambassador Sarah, fundraising in memory of Jesse leon hill
“Our beloved son, Jesse Leon Hill, was born on October 31, 2022. My husband, Mike, and I were beyond excited to become parents since Jesse was our first child. Up until week 24 of my pregnancy, everything seemed perfectly fine. I will never forget how Mike and I sat on our porch and gave out Halloween candy to the kids in our neighborhood just a few hours before Jesse was born.
It all happened so quickly and without any warnings - but it changed our lives forever. When I started to experience vaginal bleeding, I was in a state of shock. I knew that was a bad sign, but I didn't want it to be true. Mike urged me immediately to go to the ER, but I refused for about 2 hours because I hoped it would stop. I also experienced pain I had never felt before - I was in labor and progressed incredibly fast. I dilated from 3cm when we arrived at the ER to 10 cm within about 40 minutes. My water broke shortly after, and then it was clear Jesse had to be born that night. We tried to deliver him vaginally, but he turned sideways, and his heart rate dropped. Consequently, an emergency C-section was our only option.
After I woke up from the anesthesia, they transported Jesse to another hospital with a NICU. It was completely different than how I imagined the birth of my son. The first time I saw Jesse, he was in an incubator and on a breathing machine. His neonatologist told us from the beginning that Jesse was not in good condition. His organs didn't function properly, and he needed blood transfusions. We received the worst message three days later, however. A NICU nurse called and told us to come to the hospital immediately. An ultrasound of Jesse's head revealed a level IV brain bleed, the highest level possible. The words of the neonatologist remain in my head: "I have been doing this job for over 20 years, but this is one of the worst brain bleeds I've ever seen. Your son will never be able to walk, see, or talk. Unfortunately, there is no way to reverse this.
What followed then was the roughest decision parents could have to make. Mike and I didn't want our beloved son to suffer and live a life not worth living. It broke our hearts and will forever be devastating, but we turned off the machines that kept Jesse alive. That decision still entails lots of doubts, guilt, and trauma, but in the end, we wanted to protect our baby from a life he wouldn't be able to enjoy. My doctors still don't know what caused my premature labor or Jesse's brain bleed. By sharing our story, I want people with similar experiences to know they are not alone and to advocate for better care for women before, during, and after pregnancy.
RTZ has helped me by being incredibly resourceful during this journey that nobody wants to be part of. By establishing this community, RTZ makes me feel less isolated and lonely. I will attend a virtual support group for pregnancy after loss soon, and I am beyond thankful for this opportunity. Giving me the chance to honor my son Jesse by becoming an ambassador is a beautiful way to cope with his loss and to remember him.”
Pregnancy and infant loss is an unique type of loss, leaving the grievers to feel isolated and unsure of how to move forward. We'd be grateful if you you would consider making a contribution to Sarah’s fundraiser in honor of Jesse Leon Hill. Your gift ensures that other parents who endure loss on their journey to parenthood have the support, resources, and community they need in order to navigate life after loss.
With your support, here’s what we were able to accomplish during 2022 (2022 Annual Report):
Fifty percent of support group participants received financial support to ensure that all parents have access to services.
Enhanced outreach to and created support services for Black, Indigenous, and other Communities of Color as a response to the alarming rate of preterm births and stillbirths caused by racial disparities in perinatal and infant health.
Offered 50 different support group programs (virtual workshops, virtual support groups, and in-person retreats) to our community of bereaved families.
Supplied our unique perinatal bereavement guides to 400 hospitals and providers to assist in caring for grieving families.
Hosted 10 perinatal bereavement education webinars to parents and providers.
Created community and spread awareness about pregnancy and infant loss through social media.