Emily, Spreading HOPE for Xavier Thomas
Ambassador Emily Marlowe, fundraising in memory of Xavier Thomas
“We lost our son Xavier Thomas on 12/22/21 when I was 21 weeks pregnant. We were so excited to be first time parents, and went through the first half of my pregnancy blissfully unaware that anything was wrong. We told our families, friends, coworkers, & anyone who would listen that I was pregnant. We surprised my parents at our Labor Day cookout with the news, and revealed that we were having a boy at our Thanksgiving gathering. We assumed, like so many others, that we were well into the ‘safe zone’.
At our 20-week anatomy scan, we were completely blindsided by the news that Xavier had several lethal fetal anomalies. I will never forget the energy shift in the room as the technician scanned me. We went in to that appointment excited to get the first good look at his little features, and left completely shattered. There is a piece of me that never came home from that appointment.
We made the most heartbreaking decision of our lives, and chose to terminate the pregnancy. I live in a state where abortion was extremely regulated at the time, and is now completely illegal. Because of laws stating an abortion could not be done after a certain point of gestation, we were forced to make this decision within hours of learning that our son was sick.
Coping with the complex nature of our loss has been no easy task. Return to Zero has been a guiding light in my grieving process, and as I approach the second anniversary of our loss, I feel more equipped to tread whatever emotional waves arise. Being a part of the RTZ community has allowed me to feel supported by others who ‘get it’. After participating in the Ending A Wanted Pregnancy support group, I knew I wanted to stay involved with RTZ. I’ve since become a group facilitator and have had the honor of guiding others along their paths of grief. Every RTZ group I lead is done in Xavier’s honor. Facilitating has helped me stay connected to him as I heal, and seeing how his existence has led me to this role makes me proud to be his mother.
It is so important for those who have experienced pregnancy loss to have support. RTZ is a vital resource for those navigating this complex grief, and I hope future loss parents are able to connect with this community.”
Pregnancy and infant loss is an unique type of loss, leaving the grievers to feel isolated and unsure of how to move forward. We'd be grateful if you you would consider making a contribution to Emily’s fundraiser in honor of Xavier Thomas . Your gift ensures that other parents who endure loss on their journey to parenthood have the support, resources, and community they need in order to navigate life after loss.
With your support, here’s what we were able to accomplish during 2022 (2022 Annual Report):
Fifty percent of support group participants received financial support to ensure that all parents have access to services.
Enhanced outreach to and created support services for Black, Indigenous, and other Communities of Color as a response to the alarming rate of preterm births and stillbirths caused by racial disparities in perinatal and infant health.
Offered 50 different support group programs (virtual workshops, virtual support groups, and in-person retreats) to our community of bereaved families.
Supplied our unique perinatal bereavement guides to 400 hospitals and providers to assist in caring for grieving families.
Hosted 10 perinatal bereavement education webinars to parents and providers.
Created community and spread awareness about pregnancy and infant loss through social media.