Reflections of Grace To Myself by Karen Struzik
As I contemplate on many of the events that occurred 23 years ago when we lost our son to stillbirth, I find that I would want to go back and tell my 31-year-old self-several things to help her navigate this impossible grief.
Having to choose a funeral home while you hold your baby is not normal: You are not crazy for not wanting to think about it
To the woman who rejected you for wanting to return the diapers to Walmart: She was the ignorant snob- it was not you!
To those kind and religious souls who thought they were helping you by telling you “it was the devil’s work” or “now you are saved”: Don’t listen to them- they are trying but failing – you have your own conversations and arguments with God.
To those who ignored you- and didn’t want to be near you like you had the plague because “they” were uncomfortable: Remind yourself – they have absolutely no clue how uncomfortable you are- breathe and keep your head high- you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
To those who ask you “do you want to stay in your grief” OF COURSE NOT- There are so many so called “psychologist “out there telling you what they think you should be doing or feeling – I’m telling you they are clueless-are they pros at how to navigate losing a child- nope they are not- so you go at your own pace.
I would also like to tell you this:
You will be given gifts that are beyond beautiful in your life
The grief and pain in your gut will lighten over the years but you will have the pain and the scar with you always- it becomes part of you
You may become a little more cautious, ask more questions, less trustworthy of people and things but at the same time become more compassionate and show empathy
You will find beauty in the little things – hold onto every one of them as you go through this journey.
I promise you will make it through even though it seems impossible right now.
I will love you forever Alexander James Struzik
04/17/02🩷💙
This April, Alexander would have turned 23.
Would you consider making a a $23 donation to RTZ in his honor?
Thank you for helping me make sure Alexander's light keeps shining.
If you or someone you know has lost a baby due to stillbirth, neonatal death, or miscarriage, please message me their name and address. A while back, I created this bookmark- a small gesture to those who may need a little extra to hold onto their baby. I will be happy to place in the mail to them.
You can help make sure no one walks this path alone.
Pregnancy and infant loss is a deeply personal grief, often isolating those who are mourning. At RTZ Hope, we walk alongside bereaved parents, offering compassionate support, meaningful resources, and a community that understands. Your donation helps us continue this vital work—ensuring that families facing unimaginable loss don’t have to do it alone.
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With your support in 2024 (Annual Report) RTZ Hope continued to fulfill our mission of serving bereaved parents and the healthcare providers who support them through a variety of free and reduced fee programs and offerings.
Provider Education
Provider interactions during pregnancy and infant loss have a lifelong impact on a family’s healing and wellbeing. We partner with health professionals to ensure they have the training, emotional support, and resources they need to confidently care for families at one of the most tragic moments of their journey towards parenthood. In 2024 we led 28 training and education events and reached over 5000 perinatal loss providers.
Support Programs
At RTZ Hope, we walk alongside parents in their darkest moments, offering a lifeline of compassion, understanding, and hope. Since 2020, our virtual services have provided over 1,500 families with guidance when life feels out of control and every step feels impossible. Since 2014, our in-person retreats have held space for over 400 women, creating sacred moments of connection and healing in the wake of profound loss. In 2024 we supported more than 600 bereaved parents and provided $7000 in support scholarships.