Emotional Support

parents
Written By Kiley Hanish
 

Receiving a life-limiting or fatal diagnosis for your baby can bring an overwhelming range of emotions. Whether you choose to continue your pregnancy or end your pregnancy for medical reasons, your journey is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to feel.

As you move through this experience, we hope this page offers comfort, encouragement, and support while reminding you that your feelings are valid, your love for your baby is immeasurable, and you do not have to face this journey alone.

Understanding Your Emotional Experience

Receiving a life-limiting or fatal diagnosis for your baby can be one of the most emotionally overwhelming experiences a family may face. You may find yourself trying to process difficult information while making important decisions, navigating uncertainty, and continuing to love and care for your baby. During this time, your emotions may feel unpredictable or even contradictory. This section is intended to help you better understand your emotional experience, reassure you that what you are feeling is normal, and remind you that you are not alone.

  • There is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel after receiving your baby's diagnosis. Every family's experience is unique, and your emotional response may be influenced by your personal beliefs, support system, culture, previous experiences, and the circumstances surrounding your baby's diagnosis.

    Many parents describe feeling as though they are experiencing several emotions at once. You may feel profound sadness while also feeling grateful for the time you have with your baby. You may feel hopeful one day and overwhelmed the next. You may experience moments of joy, laughter, or peace and then wonder if those feelings are appropriate. They are.

    Some of the emotions you may experience include shock, disbelief, fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, guilt, helplessness, hope, gratitude, relief, or emotional numbness. These emotions often change throughout pregnancy and beyond, and there is no timeline or expectation for how you "should" feel.

    Try not to compare your emotional journey to that of your partner, family members, or other parents. Although you may share similar experiences, everyone processes grief differently. Your feelings are valid simply because they are yours.

    It is possible to experience hope and heartbreak, joy and grief, love and fear—all at the same time. These emotions do not contradict one another; they reflect the depth of your love for your baby.

  • Many parents describe the time between receiving the diagnosis and making decisions about the future as one of the most emotionally difficult parts of their journey. During this time, you may find yourself searching for answers while also recognizing that some questions cannot be answered with certainty.

    Although your healthcare team can help you understand what is most likely to happen, every pregnancy and every baby is unique. Plans may change, new information may become available, and your emotions may shift as your journey unfolds.

    Living with uncertainty can be exhausting. It is okay to take one day at a time, ask questions as they arise, and revisit decisions as your circumstances change. Preparing for different possibilities does not mean giving up hope—it simply means making room for whatever your baby's story may become.

    You do not need to have every answer today. It is okay to move forward one step at a time.

  • Experiencing intense emotions during this journey is both common and understandable. However, there may be times when the weight of your grief begins to feel too heavy to carry on your own.

    If you find that your emotions are making it difficult to care for yourself, maintain relationships, or complete daily activities, consider reaching out to your healthcare provider, a licensed mental health professional, or a pregnancy and infant loss support organization. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of caring for yourself.

    Remember that you do not have to wait until you are "in crisis" to ask for help. Many families find that speaking with a counselor, joining a support group, or connecting with others who have experienced a similar loss provides comfort, validation, and hope during an incredibly difficult time.

    Asking for support does not mean you are failing. It means you are allowing others to walk beside you during one of life's most difficult experiences.

Caring For Yourself

Grief can be emotionally and physically exhausting. You may notice changes in your sleep, appetite, energy levels, or ability to concentrate. Your body is responding to an incredibly difficult experience, and these reactions are common.

As much as you are able, try to care for your basic needs. Eating nourishing meals, staying hydrated, getting adequate rest, and engaging in gentle movement can support both your physical and emotional well-being.

Remember that caring for yourself does not mean you are taking anything away from your baby. By caring for yourself, you are honoring your own needs while continuing to carry love for your baby.

  • There is no perfect way to navigate this journey. Some days you may feel strong, while other days you may feel overwhelmed by even the smallest tasks. Grief is not linear, and healing rarely follows a predictable path.

    Give yourself permission to slow down, change your plans, ask for help, or simply rest when you need to. Try not to compare your experience to that of other families. Each grief journey is individual.

    You are doing the best you can with the information, circumstances, and emotions you have today. That is enough.

  • As much as you are able, try to care for your basic needs. Eating nourishing meals, staying hydrated, getting adequate rest, and engaging in gentle movement can support both your physical and emotional well-being. You may also find comfort in journaling, spending time outdoors, practicing mindfulness or prayer, listening to music, or engaging in creative activities.

  • Although this journey may be filled with uncertainty and heartache, many families also describe finding moments of peace, connection, and even joy. These moments do not diminish your grief—they exist alongside it.

    For some, peace comes through quiet time with their baby, spending time in nature, prayer or spiritual practices, creative expression, or simply sitting with loved ones. Others find comfort in reading, listening to music, taking a walk, or participating in meaningful traditions.

    Whatever brings you comfort, even if only for a few minutes, is worthy of making space for. Allow yourself to embrace these moments without guilt, knowing that they can coexist with your love and grief.


Leaning On Others

You do not have to carry this journey alone. Although it may feel difficult to ask for help, leaning on others can provide comfort, reassurance, and a sense of connection during an incredibly challenging time. Support can come from many different places, and it is okay if your support system looks different from someone else's.

Whether you find strength in your partner, family, friends, a support group, or your faith community, allowing others to walk alongside you can help ease the weight of this experience.

  • A life-limiting or fatal diagnosis affects the entire family. While you and your loved ones may be experiencing the same loss, each person may respond in their own way. Some people express their emotions openly, while others cope quietly or focus on practical tasks. These differences do not mean that one person's grief is greater than another's.

    Open and honest communication can help you better understand one another's needs. Give yourself and those around you permission to grieve differently, ask for support, and extend grace during difficult moments. Remember that there is no "right" way to cope, and it is okay if your needs change over time.

    If you have other children, consider including them in age-appropriate conversations and opportunities to remember their sibling. Allow them to ask questions, express their emotions, and participate in ways that feel meaningful to your family.

  • A life-limiting or fatal diagnosis affects the entire family, including siblings. Children may not always have the words to express what they are feeling, and their understanding of the situation will vary depending on their age, developmental stage, and previous experiences with loss.

    Whenever possible, include siblings in age-appropriate conversations about their baby brother or sister. Encourage them to ask questions, express their feelings, and share their thoughts openly. Honest, simple explanations can help children feel included and reduce confusion or fear.

    Many families also find comfort in involving siblings in meaningful ways throughout the journey. This may include talking or reading to the baby, creating artwork, choosing a special outfit or toy, participating in memory-making activities, attending memorial services, or helping honor their sibling through family traditions. These experiences can help siblings feel connected and reinforce that they are an important part of the family's story.

    Every child grieves differently. Some children may ask many questions, while others may become quiet, act out, or return to earlier behaviors. These responses are common and may change over time. Continue to check in with your child, offer reassurance, and remind them that they are loved, supported, and that their feelings matter.

    If you are concerned about how your child is coping, consider speaking with your healthcare provider, a child life specialist, school counselor, or mental health professional with experience supporting children through grief.

  • Sharing your baby's diagnosis or your family's decisions can feel overwhelming. You story is sacred, and you have the right to decide when, how, and with whom you share your story. Setting boundaries, declining conversations, or asking someone else to communicate updates on your behalf are all acceptable ways to protect your emotional well-being.

    Depending on your situation, there are many reasons why you cannot share the entirety of your story. For those that can safely share, you may find comfort in talking openly about your experience, or you may prefer to keep it private. There may be certain people who know the whole story, while others may know only parts.

    Not everyone will know what to say, and some comments—although well-intentioned—may feel hurtful or dismissive. You are not responsible for managing other people's emotions or expectations.

  • Many families describe feeling isolated after receiving their baby's diagnosis. Connecting with others who have experienced a similar journey can provide comfort, validation, and hope in ways that family and friends may not always be able to.

    Support may come in many forms, including pregnancy and infant loss organizations, support groups, mental health professionals, bereavement doulas, faith communities, or trusted friends and family members. It may take time to find the support that feels right for you, and that is okay.

    You do not have to navigate this journey alone. Reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of caring for yourself and honoring your baby's story.

Continuing Your Journey

Grief does not end when your pregnancy ends or after your baby's death. As time passes, you may begin to adjust to a new reality while continuing to carry your baby in your heart. Some days may feel lighter, while others may bring renewed sadness. Both experiences are a natural part of grief.

As you continue your journey, know that healing does not mean forgetting your baby. It means finding ways to carry their memory with you while allowing yourself to continue living, loving, and finding moments of hope.

  • Every family's relationship with their baby is unique, and there is no right way to honor their life. Some parents find comfort in creating traditions or rituals, while others carry their baby's memory in quieter, more personal ways.

    You may choose to celebrate your baby's birthday or due date, light a candle on meaningful dates, plant a tree or garden, create a memory box, write letters, wear a special piece of jewelry, or simply speak your baby's name. Whatever feels meaningful to you is enough.

    Your bond with your baby does not end. Love continues into the future, and many families find comfort in discovering new ways to honor that connection over time.

  • Healing is not about forgetting your baby or leaving your grief behind. It is about learning to carry both your love and your loss as part of your story.

    You may find that grief changes over time. Some days you may feel strong, while other days a memory, anniversary, or unexpected reminder may bring your emotions back to the surface. This does not mean you are moving backward—it simply reflects the ongoing love you have for your baby.

    Give yourself permission to grieve without comparing your journey to others. There is no timeline for healing, and there is no expectation for when you should "feel better."

  • There is no perfect way to navigate this journey. You have loved your baby deeply, made difficult decisions with care, and continued moving forward in ways that may not always be visible to others.

    Be patient with yourself. Accept support when you need it, celebrate moments of peace without guilt, and remember that your grief is a reflection of your love.

    Above all, know that your baby matters, your story matters, and you do not have to walk this journey alone.

Resources and support

Kiley Hanish
Next

Continuing A Pregnancy With A Life-Limiting Or Fatal Diagnosis